Geoff Wondering

I was walking my dog the other day when a man in his sixties passed me on his bike and intoned, “Nice ass!” My delicate sensibilities were shaken. While I’ve lost count of how many compliments I’ve received on my shapely derriere, hearing one from a complete stranger was indeed a puzzler. Then I looked…

Sorry for the long absence. I’ve been struggling to produce anything blog-worthy lately. I haven’t even been able to compose shitty content, which is my specialty. Call it a “supply chain disruption” of creative juices. Wait- what the hell is in these juices? Hang on, I’m gonna look this up… apparently the phrase was first…

If it isn’t dead, the traditional movie theater is on life support… and has one of those “angel of mercy” nurses hovering over it. The pandemic has wrought such havoc on the theater business that I regret spending 10 seconds of my life even typing this obvious statement. There are actually more open theaters than…

Unless you’re Randall Flagg, 2020 didn’t go as planned. Compounding matters is the fact  that the age of boxing robots is not upon us, as predicted – er, depicted — in the 2020-set 2009 opus Real Steel. So, it was a big fail all the way around. The Ongoing Event That Shall Not Be Named…

The list of things that have been pandemic’d is long and distinguished: the Tokyo Olympics. The Democratic and Republican National Conventions. The resumption of in-person classes at the University of Minnesota-Mankato, and maybe some other schools. Oh, and the summer movie season which, despite home and mobile access to any and all manner of entertainment,…

I’m approaching my mid-40s, which means that I’ve been watching television and movies since I was a young child. I should know what I like — nay, I do know what I like when it comes to this stuff. But… maybe I don’t? Sorry if this is coming off as a bit neurotic, but I’ve…

Recently, a friend sent word that he had an extra entry for a race that would be occurring that weekend. I jumped at the chance, eager to see how far my daily regimen of 45 half-assed minutes on the treadmill could take me in competition on an actual paved road course. Plus, there would probably…

It’s high school graduation time in America! Let’s be real: bitching about public education in this country would be considered the national pastime if scrolling through Netflix wasn’t so firmly entrenched in the top position. Take your pick of ills: grade inflation has become epidemic (the average grade point average has increased markedly while the…